I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
