I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
