Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
