you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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