Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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