you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
