she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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