fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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