she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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