so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
