But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize