Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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