I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
