I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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