I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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