She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
