your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
