There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
