we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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