Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
