Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
being pregnant is like rehab
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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