I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
