my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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