I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
