but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
