I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize