I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
