READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
