Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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