And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
