Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Michael Bay diarrhea
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
