i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
