Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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