Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
