so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
