i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
