We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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