the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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