The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
