i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a hot homeless man
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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