Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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