He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize