she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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