i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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