Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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