I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
