I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize