Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
