Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
