No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
