the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
its liver damage thursday
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
