I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
