I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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