so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize