This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
