how do flat chested girls get laid?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize