I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
