the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
