Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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